“Black Friday”

“Black Friday”

“Black Friday”

The festive season is fast approaching and people are bracing themselves for a month of excessive spending and financial turmoil. The television adverts have already started and nothing says Christmas like the sight of a convoy of articulated lorries ploughing through a small village in the middle of the night. It begs the question what is Christmas all about? And why does a village of that size require that quantity of Coca Cola? Holidays are coming and so is type 2 Diabetes and a build of traffic on neighbouring B roads.

Tomorrow is “Black Friday” an American shopping phenomenon which made its way onto our high streets last year. Women and Children were trampled as people wrestled over TVs, fought over IPads and grappled over games consoles. But how can you get ahead in the battle for discounted material goods that will be out of date within 6 months?

Get there early – It sounds simple but the earlier you get there, the better chance you are going to have of grabbing the items you want. I was once so excited about the Millets sale that I camped outside the Solihull branch over night. I was actually so comfortable that I realised that I didn’t need to buy anything from Millets so packed up and went home. Still I was at the front of the queue when the shop opened and if I had wanted to grab a new sleeping bag then I could have done quite easily.

Have a plan – The most successful shoppers on “Black Friday” are those with a plan, those that run into a shopping centre without a strategy are likely to be found crying outside the Disney shop. Think back to Supermarket Sweep, you could spend all your allotted time looking for an inflatable banana to no avail or you could target the more standard easy to reach items. Whatever you decide head straight to that department. You might want to work as a team, last year I went with my nan who targeted electircals whilst I headed to menswear. She was able to ram-raid the glass cabinet continuously with her scooter until a member of staff intervened and she was able to grab a pair of cordless headphones. My Nan is completely able-bodied with no mobility issues whatsoever but she had a plan and executed it perfectly.

Take no prisoners – When I was at school, there was often a frantic scramble at break-time to get to the vending machine, the pushing and shoving was brutal and it was an achievement to come away with any confectionary at all. When I was a mere dot of an 11 year old I would regularly come away empty-handed from the mid-morning scrum. Now as a fully grown 26 year old I have been conditioned to take no prisoners at vending machines, whether at a swimming pool or a train station I hold no regard for queues. I prepare myself with the correct change and will do whatever it takes to get to the front, elbows, forehead, knees I’ll use whatever it takes. That’s the attitude you need to take into “Black Friday”.

Get online – Of course you can avoid all of the rush by buying items online. Simply log on by entering the 3rd 5th and 12th character of your password which must contain a symbol, a number and a roman numeral. Then select your items, and have them delivered to a neighbour’s safe place between the hours and 3 and 7am. Text the courier to confirm that you won’t be in, the number can be found at the bottom of the “do not reply” confirmation email sent to you junk email inbox.

Happy Shopping.

Leave a Reply