The Budget 2016

The Budget 2016

The Budget 2016

What does the budget mean for everyday people? Here is my breakdown of how the budget will impact on people living in Britain based purely on the scraps of information I have read on social media. As with most political events I garner snippets of public opinion in between pictures of divers superimposed onto toilets and people saying that they are looking forward to summer. “Roll on summer, throw back Tuesdays, can’t wait for summer, time hop 1 year ago.” I literally don’t know whether I’m coming or going, what the year is, or what season it’s supposed to be. What happened to living for the moment? Anyway here are the key points from the budget and how I think we can see them as positives.

Sugar Tax – George Osborne plans to implement a tax on all sugary drinks.

The positives:

– Think of all those sachets of sugar you have stolen from motorway services or hotel rooms over the years. You could sell them on the black market, bootleg Silverspoon could be the new cocaine.

– The Sugar tax will open up a world of new chat up lines; “With this new sugar tax I suggest you emigrate your ass is so sweet.”

– And of course insults; “Girl you should be claiming tax credits to supplement the low amount of sugar you have in that ass.”

George Osborne has promised that all revenue earned from the tax will be invested in providing a wider range of sport in schools. This is great news. When I was a kid I got so fed up of playing football, rugby, racket sports, basketball, rounders and hockey. What we as kids in the Midlands really wanted was to try our hand at were obscure sports like bobsleigh and modern pentathlon. Friends would always know on my door to see if I wanted to play football on the green. Never did anyone on horse-back ever call for me. The future is bright.

Education – By 2020 all schools will be or in the process of becoming academies;

The Positives:

-By approximately 2050 when men are talking in a pub they can legitimately claim to have been “at Liverpool academy since the age of 6”. My school could have quite easily made it into an academy if it was a little bit taller and didn’t pick up a nasty knee injury.

– Becoming an academy will give schools greater autonomy over how they run, taking control away from local authorities. This is surely be a good thing, allowing local authorities more time and resources to spend dealing with pointless complaints about bin collections.

Money – Undoubtedly good news from the budget is that the maximum amount of money you can put into an ISA is £20,000.

The Positives:

To be honest at this stage I lost interest in the budget. I would love to be more engaged with politics and the economy but I don’t go to school anymore, I don’t smoke and don’t have a small business. I just can’t connect with issues that big. I voted in the last election at a polling station and all I could think was, “this is the room where my mum does slimming world. I can’t think about the future here, standing here all I can see for the future is line dancing and pop up vintage fairs.”

I think a lot of young people feel the same, that’s why we fill our time with silly videos and memes. Politicians, if you want to engage young people in your policies try writing them in word art over a picture of a pug on a Segway. Bring on next year’s budget.

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