Festival Survival Guide

Festival Survival Guide

Festival Survival Guide

With the festival season in full swing I thought I would share some tips on how you can stay safe but also have a lot of fun. Whether you are an experienced campaigner or a first time festival goer this guide is packed full of useful information on how you can make the most of your experience.

1 Wet wipes

Wet wipes can be a festival goers best friend, a brief swoosh around the gusset each morning can be an energizing start to the day. Personally I like to start this process about 8 weeks before the festival begins so that my undercarriage can build up a tolerance. If you plan on using a lot of wet wipes during the festival you may want to consider holding a hoax baby shower the week beforehand and asking people to bring them as gifts. Problems may arise months down the line when a baby hasn’t appeared, don’t worry your fresh gusset will attract new friends who won’t ask questions.

2 Headphones

Some of the music can be rather loud and may not always be to your taste so I’d recommend taking some headphones and downloading a couple of good audio books to see you through. This might sound a silly thing to do at a music festival but audio books are much easier to carry around than a collection of hard backs.

3 A quality sleeping bag

Guys I cannot recommend this one enough, a couple of years ago at V festival I made friends with some rugby lads, they were great guys and they ended up coming back to my tent for drinks, I provided the beers as they had forgotten to bring theirs. I imagine all that those blows to the head playing rugby had affected their memories. To cut a long story short they ended up stuffing me entirely in my sleeping me back and swinging it round like an Olympic hammer thrower (banter). I must say that the Berghaus CL20 held up superbly under the strain and although the experience was horrifying in many ways, I took comfort in the craftsmanship that had gone into the product.

A Flag
You see so many cool flags at festival and they can be a great way to find your friends in the crowd or spot yourself on the big screens. I wanted something really distinguishable and colourful so bought this one. It was great and it certainly helped people find me. I left it outside my tent at night as it wouldn’t fit inside my little two man. It certainly got people’s attention and young men were coming into my tent at all hours of the night to tell me that they had spotted it. They were so enthusiastic about the flag thatFlag some of them were reluctant to leave. I tried to defend myself by spraying deodorant on their faces but realised that the organisers had taken my aerosols at the gate. Eventually ended up rubbing roll-on in their eyes until they left.

5 Don’t Go

I haven’t been to any festivals this year, mainly for money reasons but I must say that some of the coverage on the television has been first class. I was watching Kanye West at Glastonbury a few weeks ago and thought I would explore the red button, wow. Some of the features they had on there were mind blowing. Did you know you can see the weather forecast for a whole month? I ended up reading an in-depth report on the economic crisis over in Greece. Not only was it a relief from Kanye West but also made me feel better about my own money worries.

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